When a cute boy sneezes I don’t say bless u because I see that god already has
(via laughingisbetter)
one time at a wax museum i thought one of the tour guides was a wax person cuz they were just standing there not moving so i go up to them like “who the fuck is this supposed to be” then they just looked at me and laughed
(via zackisontumblr)
do you ever think really awful thoughts and suddenly become aware that you are not a good person
(via boobstone)
I JSUT REALIZED HIS NAME IS RICO BECAUSE RICO IN SPANISH MEANS RICH WOW I’M JUST 5 YEARS LATE
(Source: imsodonewithjustinbieber, via zackisontumblr)
i wanna play twister with someone really hot
oops i fell & touched your whole body
(via themockingjayofzelda)
once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
(via zackisontumblr)
so i was wearing this shirt with these super comfortable jeans all day but something felt weird about them so when i got home i took them off and changed into pajamas and i was looking at the back of them and
(via zackisontumblr)
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood
(via zackisontumblr)
Me catching the bus every day
this one is probably a hybrid with moose genes
what’s worse, it was the wrong bus.
(via mememaster)
